Survival Mode

Adrian started smiling recently. Pretty cute.

And pretty disarming too.

Figure it must be some sort of instinctual Darwinian thing. Keeps us from killing him after he's cried all night, spit up all over the sheets, pooped his diaper and then peed on the wall as we were trying to change him.

Party Time (Redux)

... it's as though I can almost read his mind.

Adrian the Giant

Everyone's first reaction to meeting Adrian is typically, "Wow, what a big baby." Usually followed with, "How old is he again?" and then after a couple seconds ... "Are you sure?"

As if we somehow forgot when our first and only child was born.

Even strangers have been making comments. Getting us kinda paranoid we've spawned some sort of circus side show oddity. Minus the extra appendage and the ability to swallow knives.

The truth is, we don't really know what we've got on our hands.

Kate was adopted, so her genetics are a bit of a wild card. We have no idea if her birth mom had to duck when she walked into rooms. Or even if her birth dad was the kind of guy you'd avoid sitting behind at the movie theater.

Guess we'll have to wait and see.

Although I've pretty much resigned to the fact that we're gonna have to watch a lot of high school basketball games. And most likely spend a lot of time in the freak tent at the county fair.

Well Rested

Adrian slept for nearly 7 hours last night. Straight. In a row even.

Unprecedented.

Of course, Kate and I were still both lying wide awake at 4 am anyway. Marveling over how exciting it was for a change though.

Up until now he's been basically nocturnal. (And therefore, so have we.) For some reason, the moment we'd lay him in his crib at night he'd wake up and refuse to go back to sleep. Without fail.

I even got into the habit of unplugging the monitor in his room so Kate wouldn't hear me swearing at him through the speaker next to our bed. I'm sure we'll probably see the return of the crying, screaming, demon baby from hell tonight.

But, at least last night gave us hope.

Old Man

Adrian turned 8 weeks yesterday.
(That's parent-speak for 'two months')

Wanna Hold Him?

Kids Love Babies

Adrian with his cousins Mika and Tashi. Thankfully they were very good at sharing and this never ended in a game of tug-of-war.

Party Time

Adrian's too young to understand what a birthday is. And too young to know what a birthday hat is. But somehow he already seems old enough to realize when he's being made to look silly.

Carol on the other hand ...

Unimpressed

Here's Adrian modeling his gift from Aunt Judy and Uncle Pete.

And from the looks of it, he must be a Mets fan. Maybe even the Red Sox. Or like his father, the '84 Cubs.

SFO to EWR

The flight was definitely the part of the move we dreaded the most. We envisioned 6 hours of non-stop crying, screaming and spitting up on the passenger in seat 3B.

But, it wasn't nearly as bad as we expected.

Adrian actually slept through take-off, landing and the mild turbulence over Omaha. We didn't even have to break out the emergency bottles of breast milk stashed in our carry-on.

In the end, the worst part of the flight actually turned out to be the Zac Efron movie '17 Again' (Also known as "13 Going on 30," "Freaky Friday," "Big," "Vice Versa," and "Like Father, Like Son.")

Goodbye SF

We decided raising a newborn needed to be more challenging.

So, we thought we'd pack up all our stuff, jump on a plane with a 4-week-old baby and a dog, fly across country, take a new job in NYC and ultimately buy a house somewhere in lovely New Jersey.

If that wasn't enough, we'll also be living with my mother-in-law.

It's the makings of a TV sitcom. But, probably one that runs on HBO because chances are there's gonna be a lot of swearing.

Cry Baby

I can handle the whole diaper changing thing. No big deal. And having to get up in the middle of the night hasn't really been a problem so far. Spitting up on me is annoying, but tolerable.

The part I can't stand is the crying. The screaming at the top of his lungs sort of crying.

It's just so irrational.

At this point, he's either tired, hungry, gassy or needs his diaper changed. That's it. So, logically, once they've all been addressed there shouldn't be any more crying.

Not the case. And that's what's so frustrating.

For now, I'm just trying to convince myself he's singing me a song. Very poorly. Over and over and over again.

Paternity Test

The first picture is Jake. The second one is Adrian. And from the looks of it, he and I may share a few genes. If I wasn't actually in the delivery room, Kate's role in all this might be questionable.

Aaaaaaaaah

Water Weight

I tried convincing Kate to keep taking more Belly Status pics ... but in reverse from here on out.

No dice.

Even though she's finally able to wear her wedding band again. Her pants with elastic waistbands have all been retired. And her ankles have returned to their normal, non-cankley dimensions.

Think it's safe to say any comments I make about her weight are once again officially slap-worthy.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Dog Friendly

Aside from the random drive-by face licking, Marina has taken no interest in Adrian. At least for now. We'll see how she reacts once Adrian reaches the walking, talking, tail-grabbing stage.

Nap Time

This is what happens when we stay up partying all night. And by partying, I mean crying and screaming. And by we, I mean him.

Belly Button

Adrian's belly button fell off today. Found the little crusty nub stuck in the back of his onesie.

We know it's not really that noteworthy. But considering his only other accomplishments so far have been poop-related, we thought this one was probably worth mentioning.

Photo Shoot

Hard To Tell

Don't think Adrian looks much like either of us at this point.

Though he definitely has my hair. And at least for now, Kate's blue eyes. Our doctor said she thought Adrian had Kate's lips. (Although Kate doesn't agree.) Even has these weird little toes that splay out like fingers. Again, Kate.

And the verdict on the thumbs ... not mine.

As you can imagine, Kate was very relieved. Unless, of course, it turns out to be a late onset sort of thing and they morph into disfigured little stumps later in life. Only time will tell.

Bath Time

Bathed Adrian for the first time today. We managed to get him clean, but not until after he shot a stream of urine across the kitchen. Coming inches from our faces.

Naturally, as parents, we decided the best course of action would be to wrap him up to look like a duck. Still not sure if we were rewarding or punishing him though.

Day Two

Apparently it's pretty exhausting to scream at the top of your lungs for an hour on end. For everyone really.

Job Well Done

So, in the end, Kate never had to have a C-section.

It was close though.

At one point she was completely whooped ... she'd been pushing for hours, was loaded with drugs and hadn't slept in nearly two days. Even threatened the doctors to walk out of the hospital with the kid still in her belly.

But, she took a break. Recharged her battery. And after another half hour (and the help of a plunger) she made it happen.

Pretty amazing.

And it was great to have her mom there for support. But, Carol did earn a "STOP ASKING ME FUCKING QUESTIONS WHILE I'M HAVING CONTRACTIONS!!" from the mother-to-be.

While I on the other hand, didn't get yelled at once. (Although I did get the "I can't believe you did this to me," look a few times.)

Healthy and Happy

Jake & Kate Plus 1

Adrian Adam Benjamin

June 23, 2009
7:50 pm
8 lbs 6 oz
19 1/2 inches

T Minus ... Hours?

So, here’s the latest …

Checked into the hospital last night because Kate got some lab results that showed she has cholestasis. In other words, her liver is being a pain in the ass (and the abdomen).

They wanted to bring her in and get things rolling …

After we checked in, they ran some more tests and found her blood pressure was high, her platelets were low and other signs that she has pre-eclampsia as well.

Which meant the baby needed to come out sooner than later.

And even though we scored the room with a spa tub and a window with a view, we had to move Kate to another area of the hospital so they could keep her closer to the heavy-duty equipment. Just in case.

They strapped on a handful of IVs, threw in a cathedar and inserted an epidural. Looks like she’s tangled in a spider web of tubing.

She’s in good shape though. More dramatic than scary. Just really drowsy and not at all impressed with our child’s behavior at this point. The doctor started inducing her this morning and as of right now her contractions are picking up and becoming more regular.

So, if things don't progress fast enough the doctor is going to schedule a C-section in a couple hours. And if things begin cruising along, she’ll probably deliver sometime later tonight.

One way or another, seems like today’s gonna be the day.

We've Arrived

Took a picture now because I assume this is probably the happiest she'll look for the next 24 hours or so.

Here We Go

Heading into the hospital tonight. In two hours actually. Some blood tests showed Kate's liver was acting funny, so the doctors decided, "Oh, what the heck."

They're gonna start the process of inducing her tonight. And if all goes as planned, there will be a new Benjamin introduced to the world at some point tomorrow. (Then we'll find out if all those books and classes actually taught us anything useful.)

And just for the record, I'm predicting a boy-type human.

T Minus One Week

Kate's due date is one week from today. But, so far, no signs of the baby wanting to pack it up and move out anytime soon.

Luckily, everyone seems to know a surefire way to get it going.

So, if worse comes to worse, Kate either needs to eat pineapple while having sex and running on a treadmill. Or wash the kitchen floor while eating spicy Indian food and having her legs rubbed.

It's coin flip really. I could go either way.

No More Work

Kate's last day of work was on Friday.

She's not scheduled to go back until sometime in late October. And I'm still not working full-time ... which actually makes for a nice last hurrah before the baby comes.

We've just been hanging out and getting everything ready. Enjoying our last few days of peace and quiet. And eating-out every possible meal before we're forced to become hermits.

I imagine this is what it must feel like to be independently wealthy. Minus the actual money and the his and hers hovercraft.

Belly Status (37 Weeks)

Whoa. Starting to wonder whether she's got a baby in there or a small horse. (Fingers crossed for baby.)

June 19th

Gonna put it out there now. Like Babe Ruth stepping up to the plate and calling the spot where he's gonna hit his home run.

Even though the baby isn't technically due until the 27th, we've set our minds on the 19th. A week from next Friday.

Mark your calendars.

We figure the baby has already been baking long enough. It was full term on the 6th, so anything past that just makes it bigger and hairier and more likely for us to become acquainted with words like episiotomy and perineal trauma.

I can safely speak for both of us when I say ... um, no thanks.

Not to get all new age on you, but I feel like we can will this to happen. And if that doesn't work, I can just start screaming a daily countdown to the baby through Kate's belly button.

Another Class

This one was called: Newborn Parenting. Or, in other words: What to do with that tiny mass of flesh once you get it back home. Or even: Holy shit. Okay, now what?

This class was way less interesting than our last one though. How to change a diaper. How to pick up your baby. How to comb your baby's hair. How to give a sponge bath. Boring.

Even though we had dolls to play with ... boring.

In fact, the most fascinating thing about it was the 65 year-old woman sitting next to Kate. We couldn't figure out what she was doing there. (She couldn't be ... could she?)

Especially curious since she was asking more questions and scribbling down notes more furiously than anyone in the room.

Turns out she was the mother of one of the women in the class. The gramma-to-be. And I guess if she's planning on babysitting, it's impressive that she took the time to learn about everything that's changed since she last reared a child.

Actually pretty commendable of her. Makes me feel kinda guilty about giggling at all the off-color jokes Kate made about her.

T Minus One Month

Babymoon

We just spent our last weekend away with just the two of us. Even left Marina with a friend.

I've been working down in LA, so we met in the middle. At Pismo Beach, just outside Santa Barbara ... nice and relaxing. We slept in, took naps on the beach and ate at some swanky places.

Probably the most 'memoriable' Memorial Day ever.

The town itself was kinda cheesy though. Felt like the Jersey shore. Tattoo parlors, dive bars and cheap souvenir shops. Not to mention tons of places renting jets-skis, ATVs and dune buggies.

Kate wasn't up for any of that action.

Even though I'm fairly certain none of our baby books specifically warned against pregnant women climbing behind the wheel of a dune buggy the month before giving birth.

Scarlet Letter

Kate had to remove her wedding band the other day. And her engagement ring too. Sadly, her fingers are like little plump sausages and none of her jewelry fits anymore.

Now she's paranoid that everyone is looking at her differently. Judging her newly unwed status. And when strangers compliment or congratulate her, it's really just them feeling sorry her.

Hopefully her fingers will return to normal after the baby is born. If not, she's gonna have to wear her rings on a chain around her neck. Like girls did with their boyfriend's class ring in high school.

At least they did in my school. In the midwest. Back in the 80s.

Ultrasound Pics (34 Weeks)

Kate had her last ultrasound today. (Hopefully.)

The doctors wanted to take another peek because her placenta had been blocking the exit and the baby was standing right on top of it. Both reasons to force Kate to have a C-section.

Luckily, everything has shifted into place and is ready to go.

The doctor also found out the baby already weighs 6 pounds. Which is apparently on the big end of the spectrum. (And it still has its biggest month of growing to do.)

That, and the baby already has a full head of hair.

While Kate didn't walk away with any ultrasound pics this time, advanced computer simulations predict our child will probably look a little something like this:

Birthing Classes

Went to our birthing class last week. Or maybe it was a pre-natal class. Or a pre-natal birthing class ... not really sure.

Either way, instead of taking multiple classes we opted to attend one very long 8-hour session which gobbled up an otherwise perfectly usable Saturday.

It was pretty eye-opening though.

We practiced breathing without hyperventilating. Learned what to do when Kate showers me with profanities in the delivery room. And watched videos to see what it looked like for overly-weighty and overly-hairy women to give birth in the early 80s.

We didn't get a diploma or a certificate or anything.

But, considering I managed not to fall asleep while lying on the floor watching movies in a darkened room while splayed out with a pillow and blanket ... I still feel like I achieved something.

All Grown Up

I don't feel 34.

And I definitely don't feel responsible enough to take care of a baby yet. But, I have been seeing some signs of maturity as the due date approaches. My fatherly genes kicking in.

For example, I flip-off a lot fewer people while I'm driving. And instead of speeding up to keep other cars from merging into my lane, I kindly wave them in. (Sometimes.)

That and I wear more shirts with buttons.

It's not much, I know. But, it's a start.

Belly Status (33 Weeks)

Mother's Day

Kinda. Sorta. But, not really.

Washing Diapers

Washed my first round of diapers this morning.

Not bad at all.

Of course, they came straight out of the package and hadn't been properly 'christened' yet. But, at least this gets me off the hook for the next round. Which I'm sure won't be nearly as pleasant.

Nesting Instinct

Whatever it is with pregnant women that kicks in and makes them want/need to prepare their "nest" ... Kate's got it. Bad.

Getting everything ready for our pint-sized house guest.

The other day she cleaned out every drawer, cabinet and box in our apartment with an efficiency I've never witnessed before. Deciding the fate of household items as if they were gladiators in her 900 sq ft Coliseum.

Thumbs down to ill-fitting and well-stained winter jacket. Thumbs down to high school duffle bag. Thumbs down to drawer stuffed with old dull knives. (And a surprising thumbs up to collection of overly-pungent vanilla-scented candles.)

The Last Last

Two months to go.

And feel it's pretty safe to say, having a baby is gonna change everything. But, before we get to enjoy all sorts of new things and exciting 'firsts' ... we have some 'lasts' to deal with.

As in the last time we'll do things before the baby comes.

Or ever.

This past Easter was the last we'll spend with just the two of us. When we head down to Big Sur in May, it'll be the last time we go somewhere without a baby in tow. And every time we go to the movies, it's possibly the last time we'll venture out of the house without arranging for a sitter first.

And I'm sure there'll be a lot more 'lasts' in the next few weeks.

Looking forward to the last time we enjoy expendable income, our last good night's sleep and the last time our apartment doesn't smell like tapioca.

Belly Status (30 Weeks)

It's still growing ... just like my high school science text books said it would. I guess they weren't lying after all.